I should have bought shares in chocolate ice cream and green jello. I had a sweetheart of a Gr.6 boy in my class who had permission to go across the street every day and get me an order of salted french fries. This settled my stomach so I could make it through the afternoon. Because my miscarriages involved both Down's and Turner's Syndrome, and I was 34 years old, I was considered "geriatric". I had an amnio. Back then the wait for results was 5 weeks but Danielle's chromosomes lined up quickly so we got the results in 4 weeks. That year I was teaching Gr. 6, and my VP, being a women, knew how important the call was. She came to my room and covered my class so I could take the good news call! All chromosomes were perfect and we were having a girl!
Fast forward to September 18. I showered, shaved my legs and had a new manicure. Not due for another 2 weeks, but my water broke so off we went. My big sis was actually on duty. She went home to freshen up and came back to keep an eye on my progress. I wasn't dilating and there was talk of a C-section. Thanks to Judy they waited a bit longer so I wouldn't have to, then I got an epidural in time, and finally had my Baby with D's dad and Aunt in the room. Thanks Sis. You were really great.
Since I was able to nurse right away, Danielle stayed in the room with me. I put her against my raised knees and just looked at her and touched every little finger and toe. She was perfect.
A friend leant me one of those large, full-sized buggies. When she was only a couple of weeks old I walked her over to my in-laws. Those buggies are supposed to put babies to sleep. The more I pushed, the more she screamed. For Thanksgiving I invited my in-laws over. She screamed the whole time so we passed her from person to person around the table and took turns eating. To give her dad a break I took her to Grand Bend to visit my parents, They tried to look after her so I could sleep, but the first night as my dad was holding and walking with her, he said that something was wrong. He didn't really like kids, but he loved his own and his grandkids, and had a calming influence on babies. The only time she was at peace was in the Snuggli, on my chest, so that"s how she basically stayed. We knew she had a problem with her hip but our pediatrician wasn't aware how bad until it just didn't get better with double diapering etc. So off to
Dr. Bhalla, the orthopedic surgeon. Her x-rays showed that her hip was totally dislocated and pushing up making her left leg a couple of inches shorter. That was a Thursday and he insisted on surgery on Tuesday morning. Wow! My concern, not the surgery, but whether or not she would react to the anesthetic.
The cast went from her belly button down to her ankle, and mid thigh on the other leg, in froggy position, with a large opening for the diaper. My challenge - to keep the cast clean for 3 months. Pretty ripe by the end of the time but I was told it was one of the cleanest they had seen. Surgery two, and a smaller cast. She missed the crawling stage but used her elbows to drag herself around the floor. Such determination. John and Irene, her sitters, had a cardboard box that she fit into perfectly. She could stay upright and use her hands to play. They were so ingenious!
By the time the second cast came off in August, she had no control of her back so we exercised and by her first birthday she was walking, by holding onto things!!!
As time went on, she needed special orthopedic shoes to stop her feet from pointing inwards. A bar had to be screwed onto the shoes at night, to keep her legs apart. She was allergic to antibiotics, but it was after the first few doses, so we always hoped she would get better within the first few days. A constant stream of ear infections led to having her tonsils and adenoids out before she turned 4. The fact that she was allergic to antibiotics didn't help! This time the challenge was trying to keep her healthy, for surgery. We did! Nothing is more pathetic than a child who has just had their tonsils removed. I spent 2 nights in the hospital, looking after her and a couple of other kids in the same room.
I almost forgot to mention that she also has MVP, as do I. Her pediatrician sent us to the cardiologist to be checked. Both of us were hooked up and saw the cardiograph of each other's heart, with the valve not closing properly. Actually interesting for both of us! She was two years old. The cardiologist was impressed with her being able to say "stethoscope".
Her baby teeth were perfect. Of course, her adult ones weren't. A couple of the lower teeth grew in sideways and her upper tooth was shaped like a fang. More surgery, to remove the fang and try to find and bring down a "normal" front upper tooth, if she had one. She did! It grew down and all her extra teeth were removed. Braces were very expensive for her problems. Glad we had coverage for most of it!
I believe all of these trials and tribulations helped to form her character. Though she would not leave my side for her first 2 years, she grew into a very strong, independent young girl. At 9, she was ready to pack her bags and leave for the National, if she had the right body type. When she was ten, we went to Europe. I believe she could have gone, travelled, and returned on her own.
As a baby she hated the water. We made her take swimming lessons or else she couldn't go in Katie's pool. At 16 she was a lifeguard.
Against all odds, she became a beautiful dancer and accomplished figure skater and musician. Though for some reason she would not read when she was younger, she was an honour student in Middle and High School.
We struggled through my divorce from her dad when she was 14. This was tough, on both of us. We lived with my dad for four years and in a tiny place downtown for 2 years. I was broke and stressed. She never complained.
I am very fortunate - she and Terry have formed a solid friendship. I still remember that special Friday evening. I had just met him the past Sunday! He was picking me up at the arena to take me out for dinner. My dad was with me so he could drive Danielle home. Terr came early. I looked up and there he was, walking into a cold rink, to watch her skate. He got hooked!! Soon he was analyzing all the jumps. I miss the 3 of us being together.
I encouraged (made) her visit her dad, for one week in August, just before her twentieth birthday. I wish I hadn't. She was accepted into Disney, got her green card and I have not seen her for any of her birthdays, Xmas , Thanksgiving and so on, since then. I missed her 21st. That really bothered me. I just wasn't ready. She left and couldn't return. It happened too quickly and I've missed too much. A few days a year just aren't enough. But who knows what the future will bring. Soon she'll be 26! With Roger and living in California. Way to go, kid!!
Danielle was here for my 60th. birthday. I was so thankful and happy for that.
On a positive note, Judy and I had 2 road trips down south. We had our sing-a-longs, amused truck drivers, drank too much wine in our room, and swam at night when it was still so hot! Hung out and shopped with Danielle. Watched her dance and even had a dance lesson ourselves! Great !!!
I miss my daughter. When she stayed in the States, a huge chunk of me just withered. I just didn't have enough time. I really miss her and the lack of opportunity to just go out for a coffee or whatever and shot the breeze.
My beautiful daughter, I love you.
Mom
